What does that mean?

“Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each {of you} with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” Ephesians 4:25



Embarrassment. Frustration. Anxiety.

Heart pounding. Think… Think… Think… What should I say?

Believe it or not, all the previous thoughts and feelings occurred the first time I was ever asked out on a date. The story goes like this:

I was working at school and one of my guy friends followed me to the back of the classroom. Let’s call him Alex. He then asked… “Would you like to get lunch with me sometime?” Cue the confusion. What was Alex trying to say? Lunch? Is that a date? Or a friend thing? What are the implications? My mind raced a mile a moment…

And my remarkable comeback? “What does that mean?” And yes, I actually said that. Most of you will laugh at my reply. It is obvious now that Alex wanted me to go on a date with him… But in the moment, it was less than obvious. I wanted him to spell out his intentions. He replied to my brilliant comeback, “You know… we would go to the Mountainlair and get lunch.”

This is my problem. Men and Women need to be direct with one another to avoid confusion and hurt feelings. But Alex wasn’t the only guilty one. In my weakness, I gave several lame excuses: my schedule, schoolwork, etc. I didn’t give him the dignity of a direct response.

Either of us could be considered guilty of toying with the other. I was unprepared to respond appropriately; Alex couldn't know if I was interested at a later time. Alex was unprepared to lead in the situation; I couldn't know his exact intentions. Is honesty so hard to come by?

“But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in {the likeness of} God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each {of you} with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” Ephesians 4:20-25

My challenge to myself and the rest of you (my four dear readers ;) is to speak the truth! No matter how painful… Face rejection. Face humiliation. Face pain. Face sorrow.

To all the Alex(s) of the world: Be clear. Girls aren’t mind readers; no matter how much we think we are.

To all the me(s) of the world: If you’re not interested, say so. Let him move on.

Speak the truth in love.